As Valentine’s Day approaches, many people have love on the brain. Online romance, however, has complicated courtships and coupling dynamics by adding a layer of potential deception to every connection. While we do want to keep romance alive, it’s important to enter the world of online dating with open eyes and ears as much as open hearts. It’s vital to stay vigilant this Valentine’s Day so you don’t become a victim of a scamming casanova.
One of the most common risks of online dating is falling for a catfish, someone who pretends to be someone else online. This is why Patricia’s email to us felt particularly relevant.
-Patricia, Mt. Pleasant, WI
The high stakes of romance scams
Behind the virtual veil
It is certainly possible that the person you’ve been chatting with online could be using a Virtual Private Network (VPN), which is a tool that encrypts your internet connection and routes it through a remote server. While the use of a VPN can make it hard to connect the online activity to a physical location, it would not be able to keep his information from being online.
There are, however, data removal services such as the ones we’ve covered that can be used to limit his information online. Either he’s being proactive about his privacy and safety, or he’s a scammer with a well-thought-out strategy to scam you out of your money, personal information, and identity.
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5 warning signs of online heart-breaking scammers
1) Quickly tell you they love you or try to create a strong emotional connection with you
2) Always have an excuse for not meeting you in person or video chatting with you
3) Ask you for money, gift cards, or other favors, often for urgent or personal reasons
4) Send you links or attachments that may contain malware or phishing sites
5) Have inconsistent or vague details about themselves, their location, or their work
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Top scams to look out for this Valentine’s Day
With a special eye toward Valentine’s Day, here are some top scams that are particularly rampant during this holiday.
Don’t click that Valentine: Scammers are sending out automated Valentine’s Day cards (usually through chatbots) made to look like they’re from friends and family, but once opened or link clicked (to retrieve the e-card), malicious software can be installed or your device hacked.
Be careful where you look for love: There has been an increase in new domains registered with romantic words around this time of year. Many of these website have been flagged as potentially dangerous. Stick to established online dating services that include security measures. You can always do a separate search with the name of the dating site you want to check out with words like “scam” or “fake” to see if there has been any negative feedback or experiences.
Do practice good judgment about what you share: is a technique where romantic scammers get you to send compromising photos or videos of yourself and then blackmail you for more compromising materials or money.
Sometimes, random scammers will bluff and claim they have a pornographic video of you that will be sent to all your contacts on your phone or computer if you don’t pay them, usually in Bitcoin. While this is an empty threat, shocked recipients of these types of emails have fallen victim to sending over money.
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3 steps to avoid scammers and stay safe
1) Go slow: Don’t rush into any action, whether it is giving away your personal information or paying for anything. Trust takes time, so it’s okay to build this relationship one interaction at a time. You wouldn’t give a stranger at the grocery store your social security number or hand over all your money in your wallet in exchange for a check with your fitness instructor.
2) Trust your instinct: If something doesn’t feel right, it’s okay to end the connection with or without ‘evidence.’ Don’t do anything that feels unsafe or wrong.
3) Saying goodbye: If you don’t feel safe, it is okay to end the connection without a conversation, especially if you feel like you’ll be manipulated into further conversation. It is okay to cut off contact and sometimes even block this person online.
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What to do if you suspect someone is scamming you online?
Do not send money or personal information: If you receive unsolicited requests for money, bank account details, or other personal information, do not comply. Scammers often use urgency and emotional manipulation to pressure victims into sharing sensitive data or making payments.
Stay skeptical: Be cautious when dealing with unknown individuals online. If something seems too good to be true (such as winning a lottery you never entered), it probably is. Trust your instincts and verify any claims independently.
Verify the source: Before taking any action, verify the legitimacy of the person or organization contacting you. Search for their name, email address, or phone number online. Look for reviews, complaints, or warnings related to their activities.
Check for red flags: Scammers often create a sense of urgency to rush victims into making decisions. Offers that promise huge rewards for minimal effort are often scams. Be cautious if someone asks for your Social Security number, credit card details, or passwords. Scammers may ask for payment via gift cards, wire transfers, or cryptocurrency.
Install good antivirus software
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What to do if you suspect you’re a victim of a romantic scammer?
If, like Patricia, you suspect you may have fallen prey to a romantic scammer, check out some of the resources and action steps to take.
1) Log out of accounts
2) Scan your device
3) Change your passwords
strong passwords
4) Use 2-factor authentication
5) Report the romance scammer
If you encounter a suspicious profile or communication on social media, online marketplaces, or dating apps, report it to the platform. Also, report scams to your local police and file a complaint with the FTC at ftc.gov/complaint or to the Internet Crimes Complaint Center.
6) Search BB’s scam tracker
Another tool to use is BBB’s Scam Tracker. You can use it to search keywords or by category to see if your specific scenario or person is being mentioned in any scams posted.
7) Contact your financial institutions
8) Monitor credit reports
9) Invest in Identity theft software
You’ll also want to invest in identity theft software to protect your identity and financial accounts.
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Kurt’s key takeaways
New scams, romantic or otherwise, seem to multiply, especially during the holidays, as these scammers prey on tender heartstrings. There are many do’s and don’ts when it comes to online dating and cyber safety, but nothing replaces your instinct and common sense.
What’s the worst romantic scam you or someone you know has experienced? Let us know in the comments below.
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